no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
