Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
