did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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