i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
