8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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