I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
