I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
