"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
