she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
if only i could text you this smell
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
