I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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