i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
