i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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