Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
