Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
it's like heaven, but drunker
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
