also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
