That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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