I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
