So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
