Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
