this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Randomize
