never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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