my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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