but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
