I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
