I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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