what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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