He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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