let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
