she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
