4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
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You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
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What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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