This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I bet he comes in French.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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