ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she told me i tasted like america
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
