I wannas sexs uuuuu
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
