if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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