i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize