Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
