Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
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you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
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Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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