I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
