I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I want a musical about memes.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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