I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
