there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
