You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
