I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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