If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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