Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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