She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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