Dual....:-)
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Randomize
