i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
