whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
