When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
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I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
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I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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