every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
