I bet he comes in French.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
