oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
