I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
