a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
