rhymes with "ouble enetration"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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