Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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