You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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