This girl is more easily done than said...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
