God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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