I seem to have left my pride at pride
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
