Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
This toilet bowl is my home.
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